About our children.
Today I had serious discussion with my wife about my son after years. For years I’ve escaped from this topic. I’m regretting so much.
We have two sons and I had given up agreeing with my wife on how to raise children because I had bad feeling for her about it. Since the result didn’t go well naturally, I thought I should search some way to resolve from right now by facing her again.
That is about our older son. I myself am a man who has younger brother. I had some policy how boys should be raised from my experience. However I couldn’t do anyway at all. He was in the first grade of high school. I’m so anxious about him because he isn’t a boy who can do something or want to do something. As far as he is as he is, he will seem not to have any living way or competency in future. I want to help him anyway. I’d like tell you what I think about the reason why he is a boy like this. Because the fact I think so is supposed to be some core problem.
We had a quarrel that came from my crisis feeling about the environment which our son were under and how to raise him when he was 2 or 3 years old, but we couldn’t change the situation eventually. I thought children as his age should have had a contact to the other children and been stimulated. That could make him cooperation mind and give him primitive capability of human being. Therefore I was asking my wife to be friendly with neighbors and let a boy play with friends in his age, but we couldn’t do it because of her character and we couldn’t afford to have enough time and power by having the second son who was born earlier than we expected. The second son is pretty good at things from some views, and I am under impression that the only reason could be that he has an older brother. I wanted her to take the sons to my colleagues’ or friends’ house and let them play with their children, but she couldn’t because she became stressful in such cases. Before joining a kinder garden he had no friends or no experience to play with, so naturally he was much behind the other average children from points of capability and communication view. He moved to primary school and junior high school without catching up to classmates, and now he goes to high school without purpose and conscious for future. There could be a way to catch up. In my opinion it could be a solution to give him lower level education, namely to give him first grade curriculum despite of he being higher grade in school. Although I proposed her this way, I couldn’t convince her and I didn’t enforce it. The result is like that I mentioned. The point is that I believe that the result of the son’s raise might be up to my wife. I know the real problem is that I believe that itself.
At least I am a person who can understand it. However, it would be better to mention honestly because believing so is a fact in my mind. Today I told her that I have thought so for long time, also told her that I would like to confess my mind. Some feeling that just logical discussion won’t resolve this problem made me do so. My wife felt only she was blamed and made refutation. I explained I didn’t blame her. In her opinion the fault is up to me who couldn’t admit virtue of him. According to her opinion, the son knows such mind of me and is feeling anxious. That discourages him to consult me. For me it was a kind of shocking words. Until right now I didn’t do consultation or discussion like this with her. Or she had some difficulty to do it to me. For children it must have been my fault. I feel so much regret that I’d like to think about how to face and raise my son from right now.
The son I mentioned is surprisingly childish like this, he is still into Pokemon and pleased by Lego given by mother even he is already in the first grade in high school. He is not good at subject at all, has no talent for sports, and has no friends except for friends who use him. He must live as a man in near future so I want him to notice necessity to find some way. What can I do as a father? Before that how should I change myself? It’s a big problem that I think the result is up to my wife, but I have no idea to solve it clearly.
I tried to talk to my wife about how we should do as parents.
-Make him find what he likes and let him take education –go to college or be a follower of someone - about the matter.
-Let him do some part time job as a practice to live in the society.
-Let him have a little trip.
-Make chances to have a few days with me.
-Let him stand away from his grand-pa and grand-ma because they love him too much.
We’ll do them step by step. That means we are just starting right now after we confronting about our children. It will take a lot of time. And I must pay for my fault I haven’t do enough. However I want to start again and I’m responsible to do so. If someone shares my idea, I’d like to consult…
We have two sons and I had given up agreeing with my wife on how to raise children because I had bad feeling for her about it. Since the result didn’t go well naturally, I thought I should search some way to resolve from right now by facing her again.
That is about our older son. I myself am a man who has younger brother. I had some policy how boys should be raised from my experience. However I couldn’t do anyway at all. He was in the first grade of high school. I’m so anxious about him because he isn’t a boy who can do something or want to do something. As far as he is as he is, he will seem not to have any living way or competency in future. I want to help him anyway. I’d like tell you what I think about the reason why he is a boy like this. Because the fact I think so is supposed to be some core problem.
We had a quarrel that came from my crisis feeling about the environment which our son were under and how to raise him when he was 2 or 3 years old, but we couldn’t change the situation eventually. I thought children as his age should have had a contact to the other children and been stimulated. That could make him cooperation mind and give him primitive capability of human being. Therefore I was asking my wife to be friendly with neighbors and let a boy play with friends in his age, but we couldn’t do it because of her character and we couldn’t afford to have enough time and power by having the second son who was born earlier than we expected. The second son is pretty good at things from some views, and I am under impression that the only reason could be that he has an older brother. I wanted her to take the sons to my colleagues’ or friends’ house and let them play with their children, but she couldn’t because she became stressful in such cases. Before joining a kinder garden he had no friends or no experience to play with, so naturally he was much behind the other average children from points of capability and communication view. He moved to primary school and junior high school without catching up to classmates, and now he goes to high school without purpose and conscious for future. There could be a way to catch up. In my opinion it could be a solution to give him lower level education, namely to give him first grade curriculum despite of he being higher grade in school. Although I proposed her this way, I couldn’t convince her and I didn’t enforce it. The result is like that I mentioned. The point is that I believe that the result of the son’s raise might be up to my wife. I know the real problem is that I believe that itself.
At least I am a person who can understand it. However, it would be better to mention honestly because believing so is a fact in my mind. Today I told her that I have thought so for long time, also told her that I would like to confess my mind. Some feeling that just logical discussion won’t resolve this problem made me do so. My wife felt only she was blamed and made refutation. I explained I didn’t blame her. In her opinion the fault is up to me who couldn’t admit virtue of him. According to her opinion, the son knows such mind of me and is feeling anxious. That discourages him to consult me. For me it was a kind of shocking words. Until right now I didn’t do consultation or discussion like this with her. Or she had some difficulty to do it to me. For children it must have been my fault. I feel so much regret that I’d like to think about how to face and raise my son from right now.
The son I mentioned is surprisingly childish like this, he is still into Pokemon and pleased by Lego given by mother even he is already in the first grade in high school. He is not good at subject at all, has no talent for sports, and has no friends except for friends who use him. He must live as a man in near future so I want him to notice necessity to find some way. What can I do as a father? Before that how should I change myself? It’s a big problem that I think the result is up to my wife, but I have no idea to solve it clearly.
I tried to talk to my wife about how we should do as parents.
-Make him find what he likes and let him take education –go to college or be a follower of someone - about the matter.
-Let him do some part time job as a practice to live in the society.
-Let him have a little trip.
-Make chances to have a few days with me.
-Let him stand away from his grand-pa and grand-ma because they love him too much.
We’ll do them step by step. That means we are just starting right now after we confronting about our children. It will take a lot of time. And I must pay for my fault I haven’t do enough. However I want to start again and I’m responsible to do so. If someone shares my idea, I’d like to consult…
posted by kohs_K at
4:44 AM
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